I don’t have a girlfriend.
*puts my bro’s dick in my hand*
see, its a metaphor. it’s only gay if i jack it
See, I never jacked it, only put in in the middle of my hand. It can turn me gay but I’m not giving it the power to. A metaphor.
ion fuck with that playful flirting like a girl be like “hey ugly 😛” or “wassup big head😁” my head ain’t eem that big and my self esteem delicate please chill
one time in 7th grade i was having unbearable intestinal pain like i could not move at all it hurt so bad so i went to the nurse and she sent me home and the second i got home i farted for legitimately 45 seconds and all of the pain disappeared
you can never lose an argument if you say “shut up nerd” at the end
yes you can
shut up nerd
Goodbye, Bajiboo! After fourteen years of taking care of me and my family, you went to live in our hearts. You were a true friend. Thank you!Visit our poster store Rover99.com
Ladies and gentlemen, one of the world’s most pressing problems has finally been solved. There are now fully edible cupcake wrappers. Sorry to those of you who were hoping for world peace or Segway 2.
If you invite me to a party please make sure to have a cat or dog present so I have someone to hang out with.